06
Jun
New illustrations
Some new illustrations…
All are available to purchase for £35.00 unframed (framed prices vary). Limited edition prints (1/15) are also available for £25.00 (A4) or £30 (A3). Please email me at: jazamin@mac.com or call 07811059702 for more info.
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- Ok. So we’ve established that I’m a complete bitch. Can we move on now & talk about ANYTHING ELSE that is slightly more engaging and interesting!
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- I am self employed, therefore I am my own boss. I am constantly having arguments with myself about whether I deserve a day off or not. (SOLD)
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- – How are you getting on with the commission? – I’ll be honest with you. I got wasted, spent the money you paid me and now I”m still in last night’s clothes & make up with no idea how I’m gonna pull this one off. (SOLD)
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- – So Nanny, why don’t you sit outside in the sunshine while I do the cleaning – it’s a lovely day. You could get some vitamin D. – It’s ok – I have vitamin D in tablet form so I don’t need to. I’m quite happy here.
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- So the irony is you need £500 to go bankrupt. (SOLD)
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- I was going to clean up but instead I sat around in my pyjamas all day eating hobnobs because there was no bread. Did you have a good day?
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- Not sure what to have for my tea. There’s always that packet of raspberry angel delight that’s been there for months.
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- So yeh, the straight guys think I”m weird, the gay guys certainly aren’t interested and the dykes have all decided I’m a hasbian and don’t want to know either. What is a girl to do?
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- – What did you do last night? – Went on Facebook, drank a bottle of wine & got trolled by one of my exes. It’s ok, I have lots of exes – I don’t mean you babe.
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- If by “date” you mean we get wasted & find somewhere to go & fuck then yes I’ll pick you up at 8. (SOLD)
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- – You didn’t reply to any of my messages. – I had work to do. – It said you were ‘active now’ all night on Facebook. – Ok shall we put an end to this now? – No I still want to stalk you.
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- If you dress up the things you’re actually saying to me like that again, I seriously may have to vomit.
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- Passive aggressive is so last year.
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- So I feel a bit like a fag in the body of a dyke but dressed up in drag.
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- There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was very very good. When she was bad she was horrid.
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- – So how’s life treating you? – Not bad – could do with more sex & more money – apart from that I can’t complain. (SOLD)
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- – So where are you from? – I’ve moved a lot. – Are you on the run?!! – Yeh – you got me – that’s exactly right – dead exciting like.
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- Ok – so which version of events would you like? The diplomatic one, the sarcastic one or the scathing one?
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- – It’s the way you tell them. – But you’re not laughing! – Exactly.
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- I don’t just want meaningless sex – I’d like to find someone I can have meaningless sex with on a regular basis. (NOT FOR SALE – PRIVATE OWNER)
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- So we’re making another go of it for the sake of the cats.
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- So my Dad got offended ‘cos I told him to fuck off – I was actually joking. He said I didn’t bring you up to use language like that. I said I know Dad. You didn’t bring me up.
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- Why are you still talking to me about this shit? I am not your counsellor.
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- This is cleverly masked desperation, paranoia & sexual frustration dressed up as style in an attempt to impress you and possibly even get laid.
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- Twatcher
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- You’re not allowed to say those things. Really? Well I’m thinking them. Surely that’s just as bad?!
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- I just want to say something profound
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- Is it wrong that I fancy my ex boyfriend’s sister, no my ex girlfriend’s brother. Both. All of them?
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- Congratulations you did really well selling that artwork didn’t you – how do you feel? Great! Look I’d love to stand and chat but the money I made still doesn’t cover any of my bills so I need to go now & do some cleaning.
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- Yes I’m in the office – let me just check my diary & see when I’m available.
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- If I was to pretend that I agreed or even understood that would be more insulting than my honesty right now.
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- I wonder if you can help me… …I want endorphins & not those released by smoking a cigarette.
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- Shall I buy this really expensive oversized paintbrush or food?
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- Please don’t insult my intelligence by lying to my face in that utterly patronising way. Thanks.
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- So what are you gonna have for your tea tonight? I think I’m just gonna have this bottle of wine. You?
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- I am very fickle but also fiercely loyal once I am committed provided you are too.
